-=The Love of Pain=-
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Waiting dulls my senses
A longing in my heart
A loss I feel with every passing day
Knowing I can be so much more
Knowing I should love
But would anyone love me?
Love & Pain go together in more ways then one
Every time I see child & mother
Walking hand-in-hand
My heart feels the lack of somthing deep with in.
"Thou Shalt Not Awaken Love", it says
But when then will it awake?
When will be my day?
Is today that day?
My heart is givin so freely
Wanting to find somone who will take it
There is a man, of youth's dreams
unsuspecting of my love he looks my way
I approuch
Slowly a smile appears on his face
He asks my name, but no voice can I find
"Tell him", a voice cries inside
Saving anymore embarrassment he speaks
"Hey, want to go to the bar an"...
His voice fades
Broken deep within, my thoughts now turn bitter
Sensing my disturbense he makes his escape
Crying within I return home
Crying openly now I beg God to
Give me a man of that is full of love,
and may he be a man of God's approval
Sleep was found soon after
For weeks I kept my eyes open
As the weeks turned to months
Hopefullness is now replaced with dispare
A new question arises in my mind
Is it God's will for me to marry?
The next few months were filled with disipointments
Till on day
A man of virtue I found
Strong in faith is he
My heart goes out again
But do I approuch?
Should he turn me down?
Through the next few weeks
A friendship I formed with him
Like trynig to keep water in a fishing net
Are my emotions held
More slipping threw each day
One more day and Nothing will be held back!
My heart is ready for his call
But does he just see it
A friendship and nothing more?
Indesicion now marks my life
So much more I want from him
But will he ever give?
What am I to him plagues me
Every night I think it
Do I run or do I stay
What am I to him?
Is he the one?
Dispare is ever at my side
With every question
Does it come
God give me strength
Is my prayer every night
Friendship is a bridge
Greater the friendship
Bigger the bridge
If I ran to him
With emotion in pursuit
To much for the bridge
And it will brake
To little and it
May grow old and rust
No advice is the same
It never is
Knowing I may damn the friendship
I make a descition
-----------------------------
6 years have past sense then
A family I have now
With a husbend by my side
And children at my feet
I look back on those hetic years
I tried that bridge
Those 6 years ago
Found it worn & and old
Shatterd in seconds
I cried myself to sleep each night
You may be asking
"Were did you find your husbend"
And I shall always reply
In Gods Good Time
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